BBC Red Button service ends

The BBC have issued instruction to viewers for coping with the loss of the red button service.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events, people or places, you are plainly mistaken.

UNTER - the future of transport

Tired of waiting on windy, noisy platforms for that tube train stinking of urine, whilst attempting desperately not to catch the eye of the sweaty looking unsavoury character in the seat opposite?
Tired of paying extortionate fares to help support feckless tube driver wages?
Well the long wait is over as we are immensely proud to launch: 'UNTER'

A small team of dedicated perfectionists, from independently trained drivers to world class app writers have been beavering away over two years to bring beleaguered commuters the ultimate transport scheme.
Just open the app on your Apple or Android device, click on your destination and with the UNTER system knowing your location, a train will be with you within twenty* short minutes. Imagine the convenience of a fresh smelling, quiet and people free train direct from doorstep to doorstep!

*based on certified average waiting times

 

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events, people or places, you are plainly mistaken.

Stocks and squares

In a bid to reduce the number of near drenchings this year, the British NSA (National Sponge Association) have launched an awareness campaign to highlight the need for vigilance and responsibility in the use of the sponge. Several high profile cases at village fetes over the last year required changes of clothes and in one case an insurance claim on a dry clean only top. The lack of a British constitution unlike our American cousins (are we really related?) should enshrine the right to keep and bear sponges but the right to have concealed sponges should not be allowed on account of it is often mistaken for incontinence.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events, people or places, you are plainly mistaken.